Who's your Baby's Daddy?

The following are all replies that Detroit women have written on Child
Support Agency Forms in the section for listing 'Father's Details,' or putting it
another way...  Who's your baby's Daddy?  These are genuine excerpts from
the forms.  Be sure to check out #11, it takes 1st prize and #3 is runner up.
 
1.  Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was
fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am unsure as to the identity of the father of
Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night. 
 
2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was
being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind.  I can provide
you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps. 

3.  I do not know the name of the father of my little girl.  She was
conceived at a party at 3600 East Grand Boulevard where I had sex with a man I met
that night.  I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted.  If you do
manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number?
Thanks... 

4.  I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter.  He drives a
BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels.  Perhaps
you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it
replaced.

5.  I have never had sex with a man.  I am still a Virginian.  I am
awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate and
that he is the Saver risen again. 

6.  I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia's dad as he informs me that to
do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the
economy  I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country..
Please advise. 

7.  I do not know who the father of my child was as they all look the same
to me. 

8.  Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A.  If you do catch up with him,
can you axe him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?  Child B who was also borned at
the same time.....  well, I don't have clue.. 

9.  From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World.
 Maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom . 

10.  So much about that night is a blur.  The only thing that I remember
for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening.  If I
had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 8956 Miller
Ave, mine might have remained unfertilized. 

11.  I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all,
like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.