A guy walks into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marches straight up to the counter and says,
"Hi. You know.... I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent.
We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2010 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided, and you'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips."
"This is rather awkward to say, but you will also have as part of your job assignment satisfying her ...'urges' as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."
The guy, just plain wide-eyed, stammers, "You're bullshi _- in' me!".
The social worker says, "Yeah, well ... You started it."